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Find Your Match in a Mature Partner When You Know What You Want

How many young women in their 20s and less, really know what they want? For many women this is a challenge especially if you throw in hormonal issues, ongoing family conflict, lack of money, and a break up from a high school sweetheart. But after some conversing with the girlfriends and a little soul searching, now she feels like she is ready to "try something new."



Are you one of the young men or women seeking someone who can relate to you online? Do you believe that a mature partner can give you what you need in a relationship? If so, then you might want to be sure you know what you want personally and professionally before connecting with someone who has an age gap of 10, 20 or over 30 years. Individuals who are serious about finding someone that completes them realize they don't have much time to waste. A man or woman may have spent their youth throwing away valuable time. Reaching middle-age or golden years, he or she wants to know is meeting someone online really worth his or her time? A young woman or man can separate the immature older men and women from the mature ones simply by defining his or her needs from wants and setting boundaries and sticking to them from the start of the dating relationship. When one has set personal boundaries and commits to them during his or her dating experiences, the person doesn't have to worry over being taken advantage of or doing something that he or she doesn't really want to do.

Lies

Sometimes people will tell lies about their lifestyle, addictions, and health. Ask the kind of questions that will move an online date to share details about his or her life. If he or she clams up, digresses, or comes up with an unbelievable story, you will know right away this person has something to hide.

Life Goals

What is it about your date that impresses you and how might those things benefit you in the duration of the relationship? From education to children, these topics are the ones that will help you determine whether your date is a keeper. Find out whether he or she plans on continuing his or her education, relocating when an opportunity shows up to move elsewhere, planning to marry, and open to having children in the future.

Jealousy

Sometimes we don't always recognize the signs early on that a date is the jealous type. Sometimes red flag signs are misunderstood and what appears to be someone acting loving, kind and caring is really someone who is controlling, insecure, and suffocating.
Pay attention to how your date reacts when your relatives, friends, and others make contact with you. Be prepared for unnecessary criticisms and worries from your date that are meant to keep you from communicating with others. Flattery and "just being helpful" scenarios are good covers that some insecure types will use to hide jealousy, rage, and other toxic emotions.

Anger

Sometimes we can all have those days when we are angry about someone or something, but in time angry emotions are put away and then we are back to our typical happy selves. But when someone is frequently angry, sometimes over the slightest things, a date will have to question whether this is the kind of person he or she would want as a friend much less an intimate partner.

Controlling

Controlling people tend to attract people who just don't pay much attention when they are being used and abused. A date who is often commenting on how you dress, where you go, who you talk to, and how you may or may not be reacting to him or her, is a person who is attempting to bully you. He or she is hoping to mold you into his or her ideal match, rather than accepting you for you!

Sex

Sex is inevitably going to happen, but before it does, one must be sure that intimacy is what he or she truly wants from a date sooner rather than later or later rather than sooner. One should also be prepared for whatever surprises that having sex might bring. Not everyone is compatible sexually and not every one is romantic, gentle, and loving when it comes to having sex. Some dates have sexually transmitted diseases that they refuse to talk about while others will talk, but will make it seem like their issue isn't as bad as it seems. Do your own research. Ask to see test results. Observe your date's body before you do anything with him or her.

Addictions

Two people addicted to the same habit just might get along for awhile until the couple has a falling out over the addiction and any destructive behavior that comes with it. Know what bad habits your date might have, a person might be tolerable, like collecting shoes, but others like gambling, wild parties and drugs might cause many problems for you and the one you like.

Visiting

Sometimes dates can make a nuisance of themselves by showing up to one's residence uninvited. They might assume you want them to spend a night or even a week or two when you really don't. Be clear that you will call or let your date know in advance if it's okay for this person to hang out at your place.

Telephone Calls/Email

Spending much time conversing with someone about a little bit of everything will win one's trust and eventually will lead to a serious relationship, but maybe you or your date isn't the type who likes to talk long on the phone or type emails, this might be a hindrance in getting to know each other especially if you are having a long distance relationship with this person. It can be very frustrating when you don't hear from someone for long periods of time. You or your date might lose interest in one another.

Promises

People promise to do things, and that is all their service ends up being mere words. When you start to notice that your date can't keep simple promises, ask yourself, "Will this person be able to keep a future commitment if we should have a relationship beyond casual dating?"

Maturity

Some singles don't act or look their ages. If you are the serious type or one who likes to have fun, it is essential you date someone who has a similar personality. Fun people get bored with serious people and struggle to stay in a relationship with them. Opposites might attract, but it doesn't mean that opposites will stay together either. There will always be those couples who manage to do well together, but oftentimes this happens because one has had to conform or get out. The immature one in the relationship was most likely told, "Grow up or else!" If you know you aren't ready to change your ways to appease someone else, don't pretend. Let the person know upfront that if he or she has a problem with your personality type it is best to move on, because you have no plans on changing who you are.

Finances

Couples often find out later just how bad one or both manages money. When this happens, the relationship takes a negative turn while the two try to figure out whether they want to deal with each other's responsibilities. He has far too much debt and she has way too many credit cards. When neither wants to save, spend, or invest money in ways that help both, relationship challenges will surface.

Relatives and Friends

While a date is wondering whether someone is good for them, relatives and friends are concerned as well. Depending on how close this person is to family and friends and how much they value their loved ones' opinions, will determine the success or failure of the relationship. It is best to start off the relationship with little input from family and friends until you know for certain you want your date as your lifetime partner. Listen to your date when he or she talks about relatives and friends and note what kind of relationship he or she has with them. Unresolved issues with family, exes, and friends will impact your dating relationship for the good, bad or otherwise.

Trust Issues

A past that is riddled with arguing, lying, and cheating isn't easy to get over. Trust issues will surface when you say you are going somewhere without a date, hanging out with friends who are the opposite sex, or have an amicable relationship with your child's parent. It might be an issue for some women when a man is close to his mom, sisters, and other female relatives. All of these connections that most people have might be analyzed by someone who doesn't easily trust his or her dates. "Is he really going to visit his mom and sisters? Where is he going that he doesn't want to take me along? She probably had sex with those guys or they are thinking about having sex with her, I don't trust her or them!" When thoughts roll into your mind like these, you just might want to deal with your trust issues before committing to someone. All dates are innocent until proven guilty. Therefore, take what daters say as truth and don't jump to conclusions based on your childhood and past negative experiences dating others.

You can sincerely find a compatible partner if you take the time to discuss matters of concern, ask questions, listen for relevant information, and observe a date's mannerisms with you and his or her reactions to others. There is always more than meets the eye when dating, seek what it is that you truly want in that special someone and you will find it!

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